choose Love

Choose Love


When you can look into a computer screen and type words of hate, you are a part of the problem.

When you can typecast an entire population by the acts of a few, you are a part of the problem.

When you can refuse to look at your own history, or that of your ancestors, you are a part of the problem.

When you can justify the genocide of a race, you are a part of the problem.

When you can only post news of corrupt officers, ignoring the many just and good, then you are a part of the problem.

When you can call a woman a murderer without attempt to understand a situation, you are a part of the problem.

When you can label another a sinner, with no regard to its underlying message of evil and unworthy, you are a part of the problem.

When you can tell another they are wrong in their beliefs and you are right, with zero acknowledgement that if there is one God and He loves all His children and maybe, just maybe, he gave them what they needed to believe, then you are a part of the problem.

When you can turn away from a story of a family risking everything, including each other, to flee from a place of torture and unmeasurable lows, to slam the door because you have enough of your own issues, you are a part of the problem.

When you can see love that is not your love, that may not subscribe to the same ideas you do and you can say it is less than, it is wrong, it is abnormal, you are a part of the problem.

When you stop listening and only hear, when your opinion is set before a person speaks, you are a part of the problem.

When you can see life in black and white and ignore the vibrant, loud, neon and sometimes dull colors and refuse to acknowledge that the blends can create a messy, complicated portrait, you are a part of the problem.

When you stay silent because it does not affect you, when you chose to not get involved, you are a part of the problem.

When you ignore the need for intervention and assume someone else will act, allowing your focus to be elsewhere on more pleasant sights, you are a part of the problem.

When you chose to not give to help fund programs to change the opportunities for the underprivileged, you are a part of the problem.

I can no longer be a part of the problem.

“Faith, Hope and Love – and the greatest of these is LOVE.”

“Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered; it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers. Love never fails.”

LOVE. Love is NOT a feeling. LOVE is an ACTION.

When did our country, we did WE, stop following this? It seems there is a score – a big score – being kept. There is a major US VERSUS THEM issue. There is a damning amount of unkind words, actions. There is no seeking of truth, only of justification for why a person is right.

A dear friend wrote me, “I applaud you and your family for embracing people as they are and not by their skin color.”

This is NOT applaudable. This is being HUMAN. We have come to a point where my not judging you has become applaudable…where my NOT judging you based on the color of flesh, my not judging you if you prefer to date a man or a woman, my not judging you based on your profession of being a police officer or otherwise, my not judging you if you have taken Plan B, birth control or had an abortion, my not judging you if you are Jewish or Christian, Hindu or Muslim, atheist or agnostic, or otherwise… that my not judging you it is applaudable.


It is okay if you do not think like me, but I will not DISHONOR you for not. I am sure if you are still reading, you either agree or are angry at me… “what about the corrupt, what about ISIL, what about our jobs, what about those with no voice, what about…”

And the greatest of these is LOVE.

Do not confuse my words; not judging is not the same as not caring.

I CARE that my kids have friends who will be looked at with judgement because of their ancestry.

I CARE that our friends who wear a badge have to worry they are targeted because they wanted to keep people safe.

I CARE that my friends have to work three times as hard because their skin wasn’t the right shade.

I CARE that despite she is brilliant, my daughter may never reach as high and someone will tell her it is okay because others have it worse.

I CARE about my friends who have had to make heart wrenching, life altering choices that left scars forever to be ripped open with every careless, thoughtless post painted with words of murderer.

I CARE that my Christian friends have to bear the brands the extremist place on them. I CARE my Jewish/Hindu friends have to feel ostracized when people continuously post that this is a Christian country. I CARE when my Native America friends have to be reminded, yet again, that no, it wasn’t such until so much brutality happened and they are forgotten, again.

I CARE when my friends who came here for a better life have to listen to others say they do not belong.

I CARE when my friends who love a person of the same gender have to worry that if the wrong person observes them, they will be beat or killed.

So, so, so many issues….so, so, so many judgments…but stop – are you LOVING that person. Are WE loving that person or each other… or are we judging. Are we seeking truth and understanding or are we seeking to prove our point?

A long time ago someone said to me, “you cannot be logical with the illogical…you cannot rationalize the insane.”

The majority of those who are receiving this are neither insane or illogical. They are your friends, it is you, it is me, it is our neighbor, it is our family….and this lack of grace, lack of truth seeking, lack of understanding, lack of empathy, lack of putting aside deep beliefs to truly listen, lack of care, lack of LOVE, this allows seeds of hate.

Which seeds will you chose to spread?

We have come to a time when a single thought can cause a fight and that fight can lead to hate… where is the Love?

We love our family; we love our friends; we love….?

Do we love those unlike us? Do we seek to understand what we don’t? This is so layered, we must start somewhere and expect it will leave us breathless.

Take the soldier who must shoot the child who carries a bomb because they have been taught that the recipient is pure evil. All forever scarred. Forever hate. New seeds are spread. Where do we start? How do we begin to repair what we did not start centuries before? Each in their own mind had just cause – but do we ignore all sides and pick one or do we seek to understand truth to change the future?

Take the child who has been underprivileged since birth, beat up, reprimanded for making a go at education and bettering herself to be raped, pregnant and now condemned for a life as a 14 year old mother with no money or family to help and no outside resources because “she should be able to figure it out” and “no one gave me a handout” and she has no reproductive choices because we took them away. Now, she is left scuffed at and judged when she uses WIC in the store. Or she did have a choice and went on to become an active member of society but bears a scarlet letter. What seeds are spread in both?

Take the beautiful child born to a white mother and Mexican father who is showing promise in sports and education. Because of recent news, she is now being openly told to go back to her country and her father, who works until midnight for his family (legally), is branded as a rapist and a druggie. The child is young and goes home sobbing to a mother who has to try to explain. OR this never happens but the mother is reading the comments on Facebook and in social media and fears for her child. What seeds are spread in both?

Is there pure evil? I believe, yes, there are people who are just awful and have given in to being hateful, but mostly there are good people who had to make terribly difficult, hearth wrenching choices. There are good cops; there are bad. There are good cops who had to react and will forever regret. There are good people who get caught up in crowd-mentality. There are people who have been fed an idea so long they never considered another. But how we react now matters; how we react helps to determine what seeds are sown.

Where is our social obligation? Where is our moral obligation? Are we really loving each other as a VERB….do we Love them when we brand them?

It is difficult to Love another when your own ego is involved. It becomes harder to Love when the person you are trying to Love demonstrates hate or judgement. How do you open your heart when the person in front of you is holding a pitchfork.

I’m sorry….
I’m sorry to every person who has or has children who will be treated poorly due to their skin. Your soul and mine have no color and I am sorry that people seem to feel that if it did, it would matter.

I’m sorry to every person who has had to carry the unbearable weight of a secret of who they love, terrified truth would bring retaliation and hatred.

I am sorry to every person who entered an occupation with the most honest and commendable intents only to be targeted for attempting to uphold safety.

I am sorry to every person who has to read keyboard crusaders’ comments and has been led to spend a night alone crying against a bathroom door.

We must change – all of us.

I am choosing Love.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s