Today was a first – a report card comment section made me cry.
Our son regularly has hard days – he is a wonderful, kind soul. Last year I said to who would be his kindergarten teacher, “please just remember he has a good heart.”
See – our kiddo goes at about 1000000 miles faster than anyone else in our family and it makes focusing really quite difficult. It is why I can’t just put him in a camp or daycare for summer and why I won’t often let him go out with others to the store or a park. Consequently, this is why it’s really stinking tough to trust a nanny. He will get away and not because he isn’t listening to the rules but darn it – that wheel has water and something is making it turn and he needs to figure out why and the world fades out until he can. That or he will push them to their limit and I’m not willing to gamble either way.
Take today, getting ready for school to simply eat and put on socks was a major task because he needed…NEEDED…to build a wall. This isn’t entitlement or spoiled behavior – more like tunnel vision. Imagine being incredibly tired and you cannot focus at all on what the person is saying because all you can focus on is keeping your eyes open. I imagine that is his brain but at a constant race pace and not quiet.
His ability to be completely captivated and determined to a single cause is something that will serve him well, likewise will his endless energy, but as a parent, it is my challenge to help him figure out how to direct that in a constructive way.
This said – he cannot be an easy student and his saving grace is his spirit and the incredibly kind and caring child that he is. Regularly, he says with a head lowered, “I had a hard day today,” as he greets me after school. The reactions to this have morphed throughout the year as I have come to realize that I am somewhat failing because I’m not giving him what he needs. Sure, this is because I don’t know what that is and I’m searching and trying different ways…but as a parent – it sucks to watch your kid struggle to follow the classroom expectations and feel like most every new try doesn’t reach par.
Lately it seems maybe I’m starting to uncover bits and parts – but it is slow going and the feel of one step forward, one or two back.
So today was report card day….
And the first line read with such kindness, even naming him “my jumping bean,” that I instantly started to cry. It went on to give a thankfulness for his ability to have her come up with new ways to teach. She took his challenges and turned them into growth points and not begrudgingly.
He could be the kid she couldn’t wait to get rid of.
He could be the kid she couldn’t wait to get rid of, but she didn’t at all look at him that way. She looked at him with the set of eyes we do – to see his heart and see his mind is constantly working out the puzzle around him…and to be willing to try to help me find the right solution that isn’t just give him to someone else. She has gone above and beyond what she would need to and is continuing to day in and out.
So thank you, thank you, thank you to whatever power placed my son with this wonderful, compassionate, dedicated, creative, selfless individual who cares for our littlest ones in the way we would… for advocating and reading and researching when she could settle and say it is just the way the kid is. Thank you being so kind in your comments in his report card.
Be Imperfection 